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Over the course of the month of August, I have done more loving, listening, learning and appreciating than most months in my semi-adult life.

I have learned that at a time in my life I was living "happy enough". That in a past relationship the good times did not 100% outweigh the bad. That lingering is toxic. That friends can be lovers, but lovers really can never be friends.

I have learned that living with tunnel vision, with that picture perfect job or life at the end of the tunnel, is not living at all.

I have learned that life is not black and white. There is gray area. Embracing the gray area makes life fun, not knowing which direction people are walking. Not knowing if we are all walking in the same direction or away from one another.

I have listened to my friend's stories of love, love lost and love longing. I have learned that what I think love is, is not the type of love that I want to experience in my future relationships.

I have learned that people aren't meant to be understood, just repected, accepted and cared for. I have accepted that I have many more experiences to ensue and many more lessons to learn.

I have accepted the fact that we are all co-existing on this earth. I have struggled in trying to understand why we can't just make life a little easier for each other.

I have realized that people are not tolerate of each other and other cultures, ideas and ways of living. I don't understand it.

I have learned that love, or what you think of love, makes you do crazy things.

I have realized that reverting to 5 year old tendencies is refreshing, its ridiculous fun that should be freeze framed.

I have learned that the free things in life, the simple things, sunrises on the beach, 2 am sober walks through the city on Saturday nights and running reallllly fast into the ocean are memories I want to put into a glass jar with fireflies buzzing around.

I have learned that EVERYTHING is all in the name of the family. Both the family god gave you and the one you made for yourself.

I have learned that Tuesdays at Beacon Hill Pub and endless games of Hoop Fever with unique and amazing people have allowed my true personality to shine.

I have learned that belly aching laughs are priceless.

I have incorporated "how could we not be being filmed right now" into my vocabulary. I have realized that film makers thrive to think of plot lines as rich as our lives.

I have realized that being well off is not defined in terms of money or success, but the solidity of relationships, the depth of conversations, the benefit of being educated.

I have realized that my dreams are made out of true things. Real things, in the raw. I dream of the ocean, of experiences, of being a citizen of the world, of making myself vulnerable and then dusting myself back off. My dreams are made of interactions, not expensive purchases and toxic relationships that look picture perfect from the outside.

I appreciated my last-minute-lucy personality, and my summer-sister's as well, 143 JES.

I love sponateous ferry rides, quick flights to DC, early mornings on the beach, late night beer-pong in smocks and madras shorts.

I have learned to never stop living, not even long enough to blink, because I am afraid I will miss something.

I have realized that all of these lessons have been indirectly taught to me through my parents. Through their strength, their beauty, their disfunction and ability to laugh at it. I realize that if I wasn't living with my eyes shut so tight and my heart so jaded, that I would have learned all of this a long time ago.